|
Text |
Source |
Added |
Eat until it hurts
Then drink until it stops hurting |
Radio 2 on
The spirit of Christmas |
26th Dec 2001 |
writing about music
is like
dancing about architecture |
Frank Zappa
Quoted on Wondering Minstrels |
26th Dec 2001 |
dip me in honey
and
throw me to the lesbians |
t-shirt
at Cambridge Folk Festival
July 2001 |
26th Dec 2001 |
born slow
got slower |
approximate quote from
BBC Radio 4's adaptation of
Grapes of Wrath
heard while cooking a curry on this day
This will be my retirement
t-shirt |
12 Jan 2002 |
make tea
not love |
I
blame it on middle age
(21st Sep 2002) I thought this was one of mine -
turns out Python got there first. |
14th Feb 2002 |
|
All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men
to do nothing
|
Edmund Burke |
14th Feb 2002 |
Organised religion is a cancer of the mind.
Most are malignant, a few are benign. |
E.
J. Walsingham |
24th Feb 2002 |
| I
believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things
that money can buy. |
Steve Martin |
24th Feb 2002 |
| You're
not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. |
Dean Martin |
3rd March 2002 |
The liver is the enemy
it must be destroyed |
t-shirt
London Bridge |
9th April 2002 |
often wrong,
never uncertain |
Perish Twice,
Robert B. Parker |
24th April 2002 |
|
Man's capacity for evil makes democracy necessary
and man's capacity for good makes democracy possible. |
Reinhold Niebuhr (1892 - 1971)
US churchman, quoted by Tony Benn in The Putney Debates, today on Radio 4.
Interestingly, when I checked the quote on the net, there was another
reference to Mr Benn in the Times in 1977. |
28th May 2002 |
From each according to ability,
to each according to need |
Karl Marx |
5th June 2002 |
|
Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol |
author unknown, but suggested by our first contributor, Phil Randall
|
4th September 2002 |
|
Reality is a function of perception. |
one of mine (I think) |
4th September 2002 |
|
Life's too short to dance with ugly men. |
postcard |
4th September 2002 |
|
Who dared put wet fruit bat poo in our dead
mummy's bed, was it you Verity? |
Ventriloquism training line on Danny Baker's morning BBC London radio show. |
13th November 2002 |
|
We have two classes of forecasters: those who
don't know - and those who don't know they don't know. |
J
K Galbraith
quoted on BBCRadio 4's Money Box |
16th March 2003 |
The higher a monkey climbs
the more he shows arse. |
An
episode of Dalziel and Pascoe
UK Gold 9th April 2003 |
9th April 2003 |
|
My brother need not be idealized, or
enlarged in death beyond what he was in life, to be remembered simply as a
good decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and
tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it. Those of us, who loved him
and who take him to his rest today pray that what he was to us and what he
wished for others will someday come to pass for all the world. As he said
many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and who sought
to touch him: 'Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things
that never were and say why not' |
Bobby Kennedy's eulogy for
his brother John. One of the most moving speeches ever made: just reading
the words is affective, but hearing his voice break as he delivers the
second sentence always gets me.
Jason Barrios advises me that this was Teddy on
Bobby. Sorry about that, but the power is in no way diminished by the change
of personnel. (8th July 2004) |
28th December 2003 |
If I don't do
it
Somebody else will |
Dr John |
2nd March 2004 |
|
Probably the greatest retort in history
occurred on a cricket pitch. The text is taken from
here
Eddo Brandes, was a portly Zimbabwean
bowler who once took a hat-trick against England. He was a phlegmatic
chicken farmer, who had to break off a tour because Mugabe's goons were
attacking the farm next door. Playing against Australia, Brandes was being
sledged by Glenn McGrath, who yelled, "why are you so fat?" "Because," he
replied calmly, "every time I shag your wife, she gives me a biscuit."
|
Eddo Brandes |
17th August 2004 |
| All man's problems stem from his
inability to sit quietly in a room |
Jeffrey Lee, Dog Days |
11th February 2005 |
| I would rather be told to 'have a
nice day' by someone who didn't mean it than be told to 'fuck off' by
someone who did. |
a comedian who's name I didn't catch in Just for
Laughs (highlights of a Montreal Comedy Festival) |
15th May 2005 |
| In science one tries to tell
people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one
ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. |
Paul Dirac
English physicist in US (1902 - 1984)
from
Michael Moncur's (Cynical) Quotations |
14th November 2005 |
|
It would be hard to say whether the juke box caused the
death of human speech or whether music came to fill an already widening
void, but unless the music is stopped now, the human race, mumbling,
snapping its fingers and twitching its hips will sink back into an amoebic
state where it will take a coagulation of hundreds of teenagers to make up a
single unit of vital force which, once formed, will only live on sedatives,
consume itself on the terraces of football stadia, and die. |
Quentin Crisp |
19th November 2005 |
